The Write Coast

The Write Coast officially ceased publication in February 2007. It has been resurrected here both as a source of reference and an exercise in nostalgia. Although new lists are no longer posted, please feel free to browse the archives.

Enjoy!

Although I did a very similar meme back in September, I’ve been tagged by the irresistible francesdanger, so I shall attempt to come up with six MORE weirdities about myself.

Basically what you do is list 6 strange, wacky, or weird things about yourself and then tag 6 other people. BTW, I totally stole this description from Hilly, who liberated it from Kevin. I want to see if the explanation will go as far as the meme has. [And *I* lifted the preceding verbatim from Frances.]

1. I have monkey feet. Between my big toe and the one next to it, there’s enough space for another toe. This is probably the main factor in flip-flops being my favorite type of shoes. My feet are MADE to wear them.
2. I HATE cell phones. What should be a tool for emergency use only has become so pervasive in our culture that its presence has trampled on common courtesies and rewritten the guidelines of acceptable behavior. People now find themselves incapable of driving to the store (or even using the restroom!) without making a phone call. No matter where we go, we have the “private” conversations of strangers inflicted upon us. And we ourselves have no place where we are safe from being tracked down. I’m going to shut up now, because I could rant about this for WAY too long.
3. I’ve only had three sexual partners in my entire life, and two of them are brothers (not my brothers, each other’s!).
4. You know how some people find it difficult to feel warm and cozy toward someone they don’t know well? That’s not me. I’m the exact opposite. My natural instinct is to cuddle. Once I decide I like a person (which happens fairly quickly), I develop deeply affectionate feelings toward that person almost immediately, and when I feel affectionate, I want to hug. This would probably be quite discomfitting to those of you who aren’t comfortable with PDA from virtual strangers, but if you are planning on meeting me in person, be prepared. Because you WILL get hugged.
5. Hmm, not sure how “weird” this is, but I enjoy writing erotica and am quite good at it. I have a “secret stash” of my writings, which I share with very few people. But I’ve been told by two different people that I write better “stuff” than most of what’s published, and should do it for a living. Yeah, that’s gonna happen.
6. Possibly the wackiest incident in my life: When I wanted to confirm my pregnancy with Juli, my doctor asked me to bring in a sample of my first morning urine for testing. I obliged by presenting them with a quart jar FULL of pee (because I had no idea how much they needed). The nurses almost fell down laughing. Later when I told a co-worker about it, he said, “Honey, they don’t have to *drown* the rabbit!”

I think I’ll forego the tagging thing, since almost everyone has already done this meme. But if you haven’t, feel free to steal!

Just a quick post to let everyone know my computer is currently out of commission. The power supply died. I was in the middle of typing my Valentine’s Day blogpost when my computer shut down without warning. And wouldn’t fire back up. I missed all the VD fun, damn it! I haven’t even been able to check my email. I’m on Bret’s computer right now, which I HATE using because he spilled a beer on the keyboard and half the keys stick badly. He refuses to run it through the dishwasher because of the 48-hour drying time afterward. But hmm, I could put MY keyboard here while his dries. Except we’re planning to gut mine and rebuild it on Sunday (because I also have a new motherboard and more RAM to install, woo hoo!!!).

So, I’ll be back sometime Sunday. And I hear Frances has a meme for me …

What can you say about a work day that starts with locking your keys in your car, ends with you wetting your pants, and in between includes not one, not two, but THREE coughing fits so violent you vomited into your wastebasket? Seriously, what can you say? Every word I come up with starts with fuck-.

I’m done. Do you hear me? I. AM. DONE. I’m done with Mucinex and Robitussin, Sudafed and Tylenol Severe Cold, Hall’s and Theraflu and Nyquil. I will take no more medicine. None. I’m going to cough and sneeze and drip until all of these damn virus scum have left the building. And I’m going to ease them on their way with saline rinses and steam and garlic and horseradish and chicken soup and colonic irrigation. OK, um, not that last one. This unending virus is enough of a pain in the ass, thanks.

And the pants-wetting thing? Yeah, that was from seismic coughing as well. The grand finale in a day that was a prime example of total fuckosity.

So, it turns out confidentiality is an issue with the new job, so I won’t be discussing it. I will say that the day went very well despite my illness, and I thoroughly enjoyed my first day. Everyone was surprisingly understanding about my coughing, sneezing and general germ-spewing, and I was greatly relieved that they never suggested I should go home. I had a good rapport with the people I met and, even under the weather, had no trouble with the tasks I was assigned. Plus, there’s a Starbucks in the same complex. So far, so very good.

With one HUGE exception. My cute little strappy heels KILLED my feet. I went straight out after work and bought some cute (but much more sensible) platform sandals. And I’m quite relieved to find the dress code at work is business casual, rather than business professional. No suit for me tomorrow, woo hoo! Now if I only had a printer so I could take in some photos …

I love you guys so much that I’ve DRAGGED MYSELF off my sickbed (umm, couch) to separate the truths from the lie (read this if you haven’t already). Before you get all sorry for me, let me hasten to add that I’ve spent the last 13.5 hours wallowing in a pile of pillows on the nearly-new couch Bret’s boss brought us yesterday. It’s dark gray and black, very contemporary, VERY cushy. I find with this virus thing that I sleep 100% better in a semi-sitting position, and have gotten some serious rest today. And OH ALL RIGHT, YES, Bret has been coddling me as only he can do. He even created a quesadilla that my deadened taste buds actually woke up for, served with a margarita-ish lemon-lime Gatorade. The man is a GOD.

And now, here’s the truth vs. lie breakdown:

1. TRUE, although it has not always been so. I used to have two dogs, an incredibly smart Australian Shepherd and an adorably neurotic Cocker Spaniel. I loved them like my children, until they passed on. Then I became a cat owner fanatic. Now, sad to say, I don’t usually like dogs at all. I blame this change of heart mostly on how sensitive to odors I’ve become, because I can’t stand the smell of most canines. Plus, cats cover their waste and DON’T DROOL. My apologies to all you dog lovers out there.
2. TRUE, every bit of it. Despite the fact that in most situations Bret will take your head off for waking him suddenly, he never does when I have to “fix” the covers. He has even chuckled a few times. And yeah, I do know I’m OCD.
3. TRUE. Well, except for the jibe at Kevin (I know he hates that movie). Bret and I were astounded by this; how come none of you guys were?
4. FALSE. The incident did happen, but my screaming fit alarmed the Arab camel-owner so much that he wouldn’t let me near his beast. There’s a great snapshot of my sibs proudly riding, and one of me glowering in the car. No bite, no stitches, no shot, no scar.
5. TRUE. One of many contradictions about myself that puzzle me.

And now, I must answer the siren call of the couch …

Good news: I HAVE A JOB!!! It’s doing internet research and entering it into an online database, and I start Monday. It’s about three blocks from my home, so I can walk to work every day. It’s a temporary position, but if the company likes my work, they may offer me permanent status. The starting pay is moderate, but the salary would increase if I become permanent. I’m SO relieved and excited!!! And that feng shui stuff? It WORKS.

Bad news: I’m sick AGAIN. The same yucky cold-type crud as before, and this is my THIRD go-round with it. I can’t believe how fast it hit me — at 5 p.m. yesterday, I felt fine. By 7 p.m., I was achey and phlegmy, and this morning I don’t even feel like being vertical. I’ve dosed up with Mucinex, ibuprofen, Vitamin Water and chicken soup, but DAMN I am sick of being sick! I swear Bret and I are just passing this thing back and forth. Won’t it ever go away?!?!

Tomorrow: The lie revealed, so if you haven’t yet posted a guess on yesterday’s entry, you still have time!

Picked up from Hilly, Kapgar and Sizzle

As invented by the liplicious Hilly, today I share with you five things about me. You get to guess which four are true and which one is false. [Sheryl, you’re ineligible due to insider knowledge!]

1. I don’t like dogs. Generally speaking, I think they are either oafish, smelly brutes or irritating little yappy bastards. I think the fact that there are DOG beaches but no CAT beaches is a crime against nature, because cats are the perfect creation and also love to run along the shore.
2. I cannot go to sleep at night unless the covers are all evenly aligned and the sheet is folded back over the comforter. This is so important to me that I will wake up my sleeping husband to help me fix them if needed. He accepts this quirk about me, and hasn’t ever complained. In fact, he thinks it’s cute.
3. When Bret and I strip-packed for the move from Georgia back to California, we discovered we had four complete sets of the Alien quadrilogy, and three complete sets of the Jurassic Park trilogy. We also had four copies of Star Trek: First Contact and three copies of Pearl Harbor [Kevin: I sent one to you. Did you get it?].
4. At the age of four, I was bitten by a nasty-tempered camel. My siblings were all dying to ride the smelly beasts, but I was terrified and threw a screaming fit. Nonetheless, for the sake of a photograph, my snapshot-happy mom plopped me in front of my brother on a camel’s back. Perhaps unnerved by my shrieking, it bent around and nipped my leg. Twelve stitches and a tetanus shot resulted, and I still have the scar.
5. I loved my mother dearly, but disliked my father. Even though photos show him as a loving dad, I mainly remember the violence and selfishness. Yet one of my most treasured birthday gifts was pajamas he picked out for me himself. And my preferred nickname (SuziJane) was his pet name for me.

OK, which one do you think is the lie?

I haven’t lived in a snowy-winter area since I was five years old, unless you count two nightmarish months in Flagstaff, AZ when I was 19. I spent my young childhood living on the edge of the Sahara, and moved to Southern California just after my sixth birthday. I can count the number of white Christmases I’ve seen on one hand.

Needless to say, I have a good bit of curiosity about life with the chilly white stuff. It’s so beautiful, but it’s also dangerous. You know, icy roads and steps and such. A person could head off for work and end up at the morgue. Damn scary. As much as I’d love to experience the feeling of standing in a snowfall, I wouldn’t have the first clue how to drive in it.

Plus, I don’t like being cold. I don’t like being hot either, but at least I’m used to that one. Really used to it, thanks to hot flashes and night sweats. Being cold, though, is not something I’ve experienced often, and it seems quite unnatural to me. When I am shivering, my ch’i is out of alignment.

This weather lately has me freaked out. I mean, 20 below in Chicago?!?! How do you guys stand it? OK, yes, that was taking the wind chill factor into account, but the wind chill is something you feel the second you step outside, right? So you HAVE to factor that in. Seriously, I can’t even imagine what the level of coldness must feel like. I shudder just thinking about it.

Are you guys writing about this experience? Kevin, Kim, Suze, Dave, anyone else living in the frigid North, have you been blogging about the harsh weather? And Frances and Chase, in the frozen Midwest? I haven’t been able to blogsurf in quite awhile, and am seriously behind with most of my favorites. But! Our internet service was activated yesterday and tonight we’re moving my computer to our new place (and Bret’s going to lay hands upon it and heal that worrisome noise the CPU’s making), so I hope to be catching up over the weekend. If you guys haven’t already described life on ice, I hope you’ll do so soon. And if you have in a specific post, can you put a link to it in the comments here?

Meanwhile, here’s a little timekiller for my snowbound friends: Fortune Teller is an online, well, fortune teller that lets you choose from nine different card layouts for the type of reading you prefer. I happened across it while searching for the meaning of finding a Jack of Clubs on the ground in my path (I’m a big believer in signs and omens). When I tried it out, I mentally projected a request for a reading relating to my current (un)employment situation, and here’s a portion of what came up:

You the Significator and Your Life Force
	Jack of Spades The Knight (Jack) of Spades indicates an unpleasant period of time or troubles.
That Which Influences Your Emotions
	Seven of Clubs Business success, although there may be problems with the opposite sex. A change in employment that may have been expected or earned, such as a promotion.
That Which Influences Your Spirit
	Eight of Clubs The Eight of Clubs represents employment or a task or duty that must be performed.

Energies You Need to bring to the Forefront
	Jack of Hearts The Knight (Jack) of Hearts brings new hope. It represents those sentiments you hold close to your heart that evoke loving memories.
The Outcome
	Nine of Hearts The card of wishes. Look to the card just preceding this one. If it is a heart or a diamond your wish will be fulfilled. If it is a club, your wish will only partially be fulfilled. If a spade preceded this card, your wish not be fulfilled.

Interesting, no? Give it a try, and let me know how it works for you!

And big hugs and kisses to all my blogfriends who haven’t given up on me!!!

*Bonus points to anyone who can identify the (lame) pun in this post’s title.

Attention all readers: The post originally scheduled for today will not be seen. Instead, we bring you this important public service announcement.

Calling all Reese’s fans! Spotted today on the Valentine candy aisle at Wal-Mart: Reese’s Peanut Butter HEARTS. Following in the fine tradition of Reese’s Peanut Butter Eggs, Pumpkins and Trees comes this latest holiday-themed shape. Just in time to express your devotion to your favorite Significant Other! Get ‘em now before they’re all gone.

P.S. These are the handy pocket-sized treats. Also available are BIG peanut butter-filled hearts in a gift box. Word.